Goals.

Hiya,

So I have alot of things happening this year that are really motivating me to lose the weight. I thought i'd make a nice little list just so I can have a visual of what's going down...

March: My cousin's engagement party, ideally like to have a lost a dress size by then.

Late April/Early May: Easter, holidays, catch-ups with friends and family. I want people to start seeing the changes I'm making. The goal is to be close to 100kgs.

June: Eisteddfod time! I will be wearing a dress no larger than a size 18, and my breath support will have improved by a mile.

August: So many things. College ball, my 21st birthday, my sister's 18th. I will be a size 16 by then. On my birthday I will be wearing clothes straight off the 'normal size' rack.

September: My first teaching prac! Two weeks with judgemental high school children- this is probably my most motivating factor. Size 14-16 is the goal.

October: AMUSA singing exam. Oh baby. I want to wear a really elegant red dress and once again the breath support is super important so I must keep up the exercise.

November: My sister's graduation, home from college, time to get a summer job, beach! Steady 14 with a hope for 12.

December: Christmas, New Years... So many opportunities to show off my brand new bod to people I haven't seen for the year. Size 12 for New Years!

Cannot wait!

Early Morning "Wrunning"/My Sister Is Amazing

Well it's about 7:30am, I just got back from an early morning 'wrun'. This is the new term my sister and I have concocted for going for a walk/run. The beauty of it is the silent 'w' so everyone just thinks you went plain ol' running. I intend to use this term until the day when I actually can go running, minus the w. Turns out 50 minutes of wrunning can burn this girl 649 calories. Yes please, I will take that. 

Anyway, onto the other half of this post. My sister. Captain Kick-My-Butt. Yesterday I finally told her my grand plans after keeping it a bit of a secret within my family. I don't know why I'm reluctant to tell them... probably I declare my weight loss goals about once every month and nothing seems to happen. I guess I just don't want them to think "here she goes again". 

Anyway, yesterday I told my sister and she was all for doing it with me. Not that she needs to lose any weight, lucky biatch. 

Madeleine is 17, tall and thin. I think the only thing we have in common appearance wise is our height. People love to say "you're sisters?! you look nothing alike".... Yes, I know. 

Anyway, last night we made a pact that regardless how tired and gross we felt this morning- we were going wrunning. And we actually did. HA!  It was hot (even for 6am), we sweated buckets, we had the whole "I think I may just vomit" feeling, but low and behold we did it and I am incredibly proud of both of us. All those articles about work-out buddies speak the truth. Get one, get two, get a whole flock of them if you will! 

Well now I'm off to fix myself a nutritious breakfast and spend this 42 degree day at the beach! 

Ciao! 

Emma 

I Told Facebook.

Wow, so I definitely committed to this last night. I actually told Facebook that I was going to lose weight. This is huge for me! I’m always very  vocal in on-line communities and with my family but my weight is usually a forbidden subject with my friends. Of course it’s obviously always there- you never get a day off being fat, but its just never spoken about. Like I said in my post I’m really hoping that the threat of failure and thus embarrassing myself can spur me into action and keep me motivated this year. 

Some Introductions

Hello cyberspace, my name is Emma Short. I’m 20 years old and a university student.  I’ve been some form of overweight for pretty my whole life, I can’t really pinpoint a time when I first realised I was fat but I think it was somewhere during Year 1 (age 6-7) Being overweight, and eventually obese has always affected my life in one way or another.  My self-esteem is pretty shot to pieces but at the same time it’s not. I understand that I’m a person without the weight. The fact that I’m fat doesn’t define me.. and yet it does.

Is this making sense?

Ok… for example. I have absolutely zero confidence when it comes to guys. Like zero. In fact I’m kind of half convinced that some of my friends and family think I’m gay just because I’ve never been in a relationship when in reality I just don’t think there’s any point. Being exposed to the constant negative images of overweight people has affected the way I view myself in terms of being boyfriend worthy (?). I know that this is ridiculous, but my life experiences so far have done nothing to dissuade these feelings.

Another thing is that I just don’t really know who I am as a person. Every big decision I make is usually influenced by my weight. Probably the most prominent recent decision was deciding to go to University in Armidale. My whole childhood was filled with dreams of moving the city and studying theatre but when I finished school I just gave up on myself. What chance did I have when I was huge? So I decided instead to go into teaching. I don’t even really want to be a teacher. I gave up on my dreams and chose to be fat instead.

No more.