Hello cyberspace, my name is Emma Short. I’m 20 years old and a university student. I’ve been some form of overweight for pretty my whole life, I can’t really pinpoint a time when I first realised I was fat but I think it was somewhere during Year 1 (age 6-7) Being overweight, and eventually obese has always affected my life in one way or another. My self-esteem is pretty shot to pieces but at the same time it’s not. I understand that I’m a person without the weight. The fact that I’m fat doesn’t define me.. and yet it does.
Is this making sense?
Ok… for example. I have absolutely zero confidence when it comes to guys. Like zero. In fact I’m kind of half convinced that some of my friends and family think I’m gay just because I’ve never been in a relationship when in reality I just don’t think there’s any point. Being exposed to the constant negative images of overweight people has affected the way I view myself in terms of being boyfriend worthy (?). I know that this is ridiculous, but my life experiences so far have done nothing to dissuade these feelings.
Another thing is that I just don’t really know who I am as a person. Every big decision I make is usually influenced by my weight. Probably the most prominent recent decision was deciding to go to University in Armidale. My whole childhood was filled with dreams of moving the city and studying theatre but when I finished school I just gave up on myself. What chance did I have when I was huge? So I decided instead to go into teaching. I don’t even really want to be a teacher. I gave up on my dreams and chose to be fat instead.
No more.
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